Three Good Things

Chris and I were talking this morning about how heavy things feel,

for all of us.  None of us [or very few of us] are completely insulated

from what's happening with the economy.  It's a difficult, stressful

time and not knowing what the next several months will bring, compounds

the heaviness.

There are always things for which we are

thankful.  We know this.  And after we have discussions where we review

the worst case scenarios, we take a breath and remind ourselves of the

good things.

Mom and Dad lived for a few years in Caracas,

Venezuela right after Chris and I were married.  As a Christmas gift

one year, Dad flew Chris, my brother Mallory Joe and me to South America for a couple of weeks.  I think it was a gift for Mom and Dad too.

On

the surface, everything appeared wonderful.  Mom had spent much of her

childhood in the Philippines so she spoke Spanish well and had

experience living as an expat.  Mom and Dad lived in a beautiful

penthouse apartment overlooking the new U.S. Embassy, had a full-time

driver, maid and memberships to a prestigious country club.  Two months

prior to the move Dad had been diagnosed with kidney cancer, had

surgery to remove a kidney and was sent to Venezuela with a clean bill

of health.  Life is good!  Right?  Well...

Mom's birthday is

three days before Christmas and she was turning 50 that year.  She

missed her friends, understandably.  Navigating life in a foreign

country where only 3% of the people spoke English [statistic per Mother, at the

time], required her to rely on the Spanish she hadn't used for years and it exhausted her.  We were out for lunch one day and she was trying to

order sandwiches for all of us.  She became frustrated, looked at me

and said, "I can't remember how the hell to say mustard in Spanish.  Can we lose the mustard?"

One afternoon, Dad was at work, Chris and my brother Mallory Joe were playing ping-pong, drinking Venezuelan beer [Polar tasted good.  Chris and Mallory Joe consumed it daily while playing ping-pong.] and Mom and I were sneaking a smoke on her veranda.

Mom said, "I don't know what to do.  This has just been so difficult."

We

discussed various solutions, all involving travel and being away from Dad longer than she felt was reasonable.  She

recognized she was tired and in a funk due to the many life stressors

she'd just endured.  A major move, culture shock, a husband with a

cancer diagnosis, finding homes for three animals she loved dearly

prior to the move, turning 50, and missing her family and friends.  She

knew she simply needed to keep moving forward.

She vented about the difficulties of living in Caracas.  There were many - all legitimate.

I said, "But Mom, there are some neat things about living here.  Can you think of just three good things?"

She thought...

"The birds are beautiful.  I love seeing parrots and macaws flying.  Free."

"And the orchids.  I can grow orchids on my veranda.  I've

never been able to grow orchids like this.  Aren't they beautiful?" 

[Mom has always loved gardening, so this was important and valued.]

She was looking a little perkier as she lit another cigarette.  We sat quietly while she thought.

Finally

she said, "And when your father and I go out to eat, and I order a

drink... anywhere... they bring you the whole bottle, even if it's Grey

Goose, and set it right. On. The. Table."