Girls Gone Wild

Mother arrived Friday from Arizona and returned home today.

Mom was here to celebrate my birthday, make sure the boys still know and love her, and get up to speed on our newest rules and regulations for the care and feeding of said boys. The two oldest will travel solo for the first time EVER this summer to spend a few days with Mom and Dad. 

Mom and I shopped, lunched, chatted, laughed, and played with kids. It was a nice visit.

On the way to the airport today, we got into one of those complicated mother/daughter things. The thing where you're having a discussion, both agree on what's being discussed, but it turns into (at first) a polite debate (about nothing), then a childlike girl-fight where we're windmilling at each other verbally...maybe I was doing the windmill. Doesn't matter.

Goes like this...

Me:  "It just cost over $80 to put gas in this car."

Mom:  "Well, you know, it costs me over $50 to fill up my little car."

Me:  "It's just ridiculous." (shaking head)

Mom:  "Europeans have been dealing with this for years."

Me:  "Yeah. At least in Europe, things are more community-centric."

Mom:  "Not really. They have large cities in Europe."

Me:  "My friends who are FROM Europe and tell me how things ARE there, indicate it's just 'different.'"

Mom:  "I have several friends from Europe...AND...I've been there." 

Me:  "I know...it's different. I'm just saying, like in New York, T doesn't have a car because he can use public transportation, take a cab, walk to the market. You know. It's just different."

Mom:  "Well, just wait until you see what happens in India and China. There's an affordable car that's being developed and almost EVERYONE will have a car and use ALL the gas."

Me:  "Apples and oranges Mom—I don't get what that has to do with what we're talking about."

Mom:  "You don't have to get defensive."

Me:  "I'm not defensive, Mother."

Mom:  "You sound defensive."

Me:  "Okay. I'm done."  (feeling defensive)

Mom:  "Christina, that's not..."

Me:  "DONE!"

Mom:  "Chrisy, you're acting..."

Me:  "DONE!"

Mom:  "You sound like..."

Me:  "DONE!"

Mom: "...A CHILD!"

Me:  "Mom, can we please stop?  My kids are in the car."  (I'd chosen to use my girl powers for evil.)

Mom:  "That's terrible."  (she said calmly)

It got quiet. For a long time. Mom and I love each other very much. It's a complicated and strong relationship we have. 

This silly story reminded me, even as it was happening, of one time when I was in my early 20's. We were discussing, then arguing, about nothing really. I remember saying, "Mom, you just don't know how to communicate effectively."

Mom said, "Well, you're not doing much better, Honey."

I screamed, "I'VE HAD THERAPY!  I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS SH#T!"

I love you Mom.  I'm sorry.