Hey. That was my idea.

I've had a few good project ideas over the years.  I didn't have time to get them from my mind to the paper, but I thought about them real hard.  OR, someone beat me to it...

1989  All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten - My idea.  I wasn't comfortable writing anything with sex, drugs, or foul language because I couldn't bear the thought of revealing to my family that I had any experience or exposure to these things (little did I know they were already aware).  I could however, write a collection of wholesome, witty essays entertaining people with things I learned as a young child. Jerry Seinfeld was emerging with his "clean" humor - the time was right.  Robert Fulghum got in my head.

1995 Now and Then - My idea.  Marlene King wrote the screenplay for this movie (which wasn't very good - because I didn't write it) based on the neighborhood in the small town where I lived in the 1970s.  It was the Gaslight Addition in Winchester, Indiana (the movie was almost called The Gaslight Addition).  Marlene lived in our neighborhood and I played with her younger sister Angie but Samantha Kelly was my best friend.  Two of the main characters in the movie are named Samantha and Chrissy (thanks Marlene - stole my idea and my name).  Marlene named the girl loosely representing her sister Angie - Angie.  I was devastated when I was told the film was being made and that Demi Moore was one of the producers.  I was robbed again, by one of my own people.

2002 A Girl Named Zippy - Mine too.  If Marlene King didn't nail the growing up in small-town Indiana experience, I could write a true memoir - a collection of simple short stories about my childhood in Winchester, Indiana.  Haven Kimmel heard my head spinning so hard and fast, jumped on it and wrote her memoir about growing up in Mooreland, Indiana.  Bless it.

Edgy Grittier Essays - This was what the world needed.  I'll forget about my reputation, and write gritty, edgy, real humor.  I've got tons of material that's funny, and relateable - I've done interesting, crazy things.  My closest friends know, they laugh, they love my stories, why not share it with the world!?  What?  Who the hell's David Sedaris?

2004  I am Charlotte Simmons - My.  Idea.  This is a very big book, not well received by the critics but I liked it, because it was my idea.  I could write about my college experience in a way that was fresh, honest and raw.  Exposing the intellectuals, the athletes, the frat boys, sorority girls, the ethnic, money, alcohol, drug, pretty/ugly girl issues.  I dated the white athlete on the mostly black basketball team just like Charlotte Simmons.  I saw how the athlete's really spent their free time.  This was my material.

Dooce - I was gonna do that.  My husband kept saying, you should write, the Internet provides an instant audience and an immediate writer's experience. I could have been Dooce.  I had food and body image issues, depression, questions about faith, was a good girl, gone bad, then good again (sort of).  It's just not fair.

The Internet - I totally thought of that.

When will this end?