No more watering dead plants. Unless they're really nice to me.

So far the best New Year's resolution post I've read is titled Crooked Road by Kyran Pittman of Notes to Self.  Every word of her piece resonates with me.  If you haven't discovered Kyran's blog and want to read someone who uses language precisely, beautifully and with wit and charm, she's your woman.

I have some lofty "goals and intentions" as Kyran puts it, but I choose to keep them private.  Not because I fear accountability, I'm fairly disciplined, but because I prefer to avoid judgment.  I do have a goal that Chris is encouraging me to refine...

Chris and I were cleaning out the office a few days ago.  I've always been good at triage.  I can quickly look at piles and tasks, prioritize, plan and execute.  Boom.  Done. [Dad's so proud when I talk like that.]

Occasionally in my haste lightning speed, the wrong things have been tossed or I've purged items that Chris and the boys look for later.  Not a treasure, but something they wish was around a little longer.  I'm usually forgiven and life moves forward with everyone recognizing there are those less fortunate who have benefited from the article of clothing or toy that has been sitting unused in our home for too long.

Once, 20 YEARS AGO, I accidentally placed in the garbage... a check for $1,000.  It was a bonus check for Chris and it seemed like millions of dollars to us.  My defense?  It was folded no less than 32 times and was the size of half a postage stamp, resting with old receipts and gum wrappers on Chris' side of the dresser.  I was cleaning and assumed it was a scrap.  Who folds a LIVE check into a teeny, tiny square?  Regardless, my bad.  His company cut him another check because his new wife did something *cute*.

A few days ago, I accidentally placed in the garbage... stock options.  Signed and notarized, which I noticed as I was shredding it into bits.  My defense?  We have so many multiple copies of the same important documents, and I thought it was a copy.  Again, my bad.  Not *cute*.

As I was thinking about my triage abilities - what I keep, what I toss - I thought about relationships in my life.  It's rare that I completely close a door on a relationship, even one that's been hurtful and exhausting. I realized with Chris' help that I have a tendency to "water dead plants".  Chris' words.  I don't think that's all bad, but I believe I need to shift a bit.

One of my 2009 goals and intentions:  Slow down a little, assess my piles and relationships, keep and nurture what is worthwhile, ( e.g., live checks, stock options, healthy, loving people who actually like me) and discard or slowly pull back from what is not (e.g., real garbage, unused clothes and toys, people who don't like me and I finally recognize that I annoy - like the cleaning person).

Our three boys have been discussing New Year's resolutions and have decided upon an ambitious goal...