Vain
I don't photograph well. I never have and I'm not upset about it anymore. The camera loves Chris, Mother, and my brother Mallory Joe. It doesn't love Dad, or me. Our three sons are somewhere in the middle. They're good looking boys and sometimes I get wonderful photographs of them, and sometimes I don't. Any photographer will confirm these facts. Some people are more photogenic than others. I'm not fishing for compliments, nor am I saying I'm SO much better looking in person.
When I post a picture of myself, trust that I've gone through as many options as possible before I've shared it with you. It's as good as it's gonna get, but I've put thought into it. Except that one time a friend called and said, "Your eyes don't look right in that picture. Did you do something?" The answer was yes. I overdid the Botox and had a Melissa Rivers, scary smile for a few weeks. It's gone now.
I was tagged in a photo on Facebook recently. It was taken at a high school reunion five years ago. I'd seen the photo prior in a friend's album, cringed and thought to myself, Don't be so vain. I hadn't been tagged with it at that point so I let it go. People who visited his Facebook page and albums would see it, but the overlap of our circle of friends was small. The majority of my Facebook friends would not see it.
I didn't like the picture because it highlighted the features on my face I've been the most self-conscious of my entire life. It was not flattering of my nose and was taken prior to my Nasal-Surgery-Not-A-Nose-Job. I was wearing bright red lipstick and my lips were curled under so they looked unusually thin and non-existent. The angle of the photo, my side stance, and the great! sleeveless dress I wore made one arm look disproportionately big for my body. The picture was taken at close range and was very unforgiving. The two other people in the picture looked great. I looked like Chyna, the female wrestler.
When I was tagged, the photo appeared in all it's huge glory on my profile page and populated one of my albums. I saw it, gasped, nuked it, then frantically typed a note to the friend who tagged me, apologizing for my vanity and over-explained the situation. [This friend is a very nice man who I've had no contact with in 25 years, other than the brief hello and photo at the reunion.] We had several exchanges, with me continuing to over-explain and over-apologize, resulting in him deleting the photo from his album too. [This man is busy—job, wife, kids, etc.,— and I sucked him into a babbling email exchange about how I looked like Chyna the wrestler in the picture, but I'm not THAT vain. I'm NORMAL DAMMIT! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!]
QUESTION: My initial thought was I want veto power over all photos of me that others might share on Facebook or blogs. However, I've enjoyed seeing 30-year-old class photos with 25 kids and a teacher. A notification "rule" seems unnecessary in some cases. What are your thoughts on photo sharing etiquette?