Bad 5-Letter Words

Part I

One day Oldest Boy comes running out of Middle Boy's room and yells over the balcony, "Mama, Mary had a CRAMP on Middle Boy's socks!"

"WHAT?!" I said.

"Hurry, Mary CRAMPED!"

This was about 5 years ago when Oldest Boy was 5 years old.  Middle Boy was 3 and Mary was still a puppy.  I ran upstairs thinking maybe Mary was having a seizure and Oldest Boy didn't have the word for that.  She'd never had a seizure before, but I truly couldn't imagine what had happened.

I walked into Middle Boy's room with Oldest Boy right behind me.  There sat Mary and Middle Boy, neither alarmed nor stressed and not far from Oldest Boy was a pair of his dirty socks on the floor with a pile of Mary's poop on top of it.

I turned to Oldest Boy and said, "Mary had an accident and pooped.  'Cramp' is not a nice word for poop, please don't say that anymore."

"I didn't know," said Oldest Boy.

I cleaned up the mess and chose not to correct the boys on the proper use of the word "cramp" or "crap".

Part II

Mom and Dad were visiting from Arizona several months later.  Dad and Middle Boy were in Middle Boy's room playing with trains and tracks.  I thought how nice it was that they were up there so long, Dad laying on his side on the floor, watching Middle Boy push trains around the various tracks they'd made.

Dad finally came downstairs and joined us in the kitchen.  He grabbed a handful of nuts and casually says, "Middle BOy really enjoys those trains.  He got mad when one of them wouldn't do what he wanted, and he said, 'Oh, CRAAAAMP!'"

We cuss in code at our house.