Stubbed Toe

[Click on all photos to enlarge.]

Joe and me on Lake Wawasee.

My brother turned 40 on Sunday, May 24th.  My "little" brother.  The one who I still think of as 5, or 12, or 17, or 20-ish [emphasis on the "ish"].  The one who I was able to convince to do just about anything as a young kid, including spin me around on his shoulders because I told him we could easily be on Dance Fever or get a job as Solid Gold dancers.  We had the skill!  We had the desire!  It didn't matter that I outweighed him by nearly 20 pounds... if he just caught me, held me, threw me -- he'd get stronger!  His current back problems are likely a result of our rigorous dance training, under my zealot-like direction.

I can't believe he's 40.

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Toddler Child stubbed his toe this weekend.  A good old-fashioned, big-toe, stub.  As Toddler Child and I inspected his big toe again this morning, vivid memories of the day my brother was brought home from the hospital flooded my mind.  My parents don't believe me that I remember.  But I do.

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Joe - Richmond, Indiana - 1969
Joe - Winchester, Indiana - early 1970s

May 1969

Joe and me - Winchester, Indiana - 1970

My third birthday was days away.  The baby was so cute.  I wasn't jealous of the attention he was getting, but I wanted him to be my baby.  I remember sitting on the green couch, my legs straight while I was allowed to "hold" the baby.  It was more tiring than I thought it would be.

I remember being on the front porch, I think Mom had opened the door to greet my grandparents as they arrived.  In all of the excitement, I stubbed my big toe.  No one noticed.  It was bleeding so I cried.  Mamaw finally realized I was upset.  She pulled a tissue from her purse that already had blood-red stains on it.  Her signature lipstick.  She sat beside me on the front porch and dabbed at my toe.  I remember thinking how pretty her tissue looked, with her lipstick and my blood.

That's all I remember.

Joe - Fort Wayne, Indiana - mid 1970s
Joe - Phoenix, Arizona - early 1980s

More than anything, I remember how much I loved my brother.  He's my only sibling and we're fortunate to like one another and be friends.  True friends.

Card Joe made me - 1970s
Card Joe made me - 1970s

I can't believe he's 40.  It's like... he's an adult.

Joe and me - Phoenix, Arizona - 8th grade graduation 1980

Happy Birthday, Joe.  I'm proud of the man you are and fortunate to call you brother, and friend.

I still can't believe he's 40.